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Long Story but I love her!



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  • Long Story but I love her!

    Hi, I really need advice. I know this is long but I need to do the right thing.

    So on Friday my partner had a fight. I’ve been struggling with my own issues but I think my partner snapped. She was admitted to the hospitals mental health ward and all I got was that she was doing ok for 2 days. Then today just after I had called to ask about her. She turned up at home with our friend and said she was getting her stuff and moving home. She is unsure if she will come back here or if she will try our relationship again.

    ill be honest, I have NEVER been so motivated to get my life together. I am so scared that back home she will get back into dangerous habits she had before we were together. I just could not see what she was going through and now, I don’t know if it’s too late, but I really really need to try now. Even if we permantly seperate.

    she kept hugging me before she left. She wanted to stay but knew she needed to figure things out.

    is it right to fight for her? Or should I step right back? I’m afraid that if I try she will come back from guilt. But I don’t want her to see me “move on” and give up if she wants something.

    i have hurt her and she has hurt me. But I hurt her and didn’t help her or see when she needed me. I know that guilt and self loathing will fix nothing but Ivan afraid she will get sick and I will not be able to help and I am terrified of a life without her. I love her and if I end up with someone else I will not love them like I love her.

    please help me!

  • #2
    I will advice you give her space for now. This will help both you and her to calm down and decide if you still want to be in the relationship.

    Trying to beg and plead for her to come back will make you lose her for good. It's also going to make you look unattractive to her.

    So, give her space for at least 4 weeks before thinking of establishing contact again. This will make her miss you and want you back when you eventually contact her.


    • #3
      Whenever a love relationship ends - whether that end be abrupt or drawn-out, one-sided or mutual - it is hard to let go. Maybe at the end of the relationship things between you got pretty awful. Maybe the two of you felt like you could never seem to stop the fighting for long enough to catch your breath. Still, beneath it all there was still that strong love shared between you.

      Sometimes, the most tragic romantic relationships are those that ended because the couple could somehow not manage to get out of their own way, despite the love that they had between each other.

      The good news is, if you are already able to recognize that you had a role to play in the problems the two of you had together, you are more than halfway there in terms of coming to healthy terms with the relationship. However, there are some things you can try to further your healing process and figure out what your next steps should be.

      If you are saying, "I miss her and it's my fault she left me," here are 5 things to try in order to move forward in your life:

      1. Untangle your own feelings about your rocky relationship with her:

      The first step in moving forward with your life is to do a good job of untangling your own feelings about the relationship. Let's face it: romance ain't easy. You no doubt have a pretty potent mix of conflicting feelings about her inside you. Start a journal about your feelings. Once you get it out on paper (or on your computer screen), you will find that things look a little bit less complicated than they did before.

      2. Talk to someone you trust about the situation:

      Next, talk to someone about what happened in the relationship. You can either find a trusted friend, or you can even find a counselor to help out. Tell the person everything that happened in terms of how you broke up and what the root causes were. This will help you further untangle your thoughts and feelings about all that happened between the two of you.

      3. Figure out how you could have played things differently:

      Once you have done some journaling and some talking it out, identify 1-2 ways that you could have done things differently. Figure out specifically some of the behaviors you showed during the relationship that likely eventually prompted her to leave you.

      4. Reach out to her to have a talk:

      Whether or not you ever intend to get back together with your ex, it can be very healthy and cleansing to have a talk with her about all that happened. Be sure to avoid any drama or heavy emotions at this point. You just want to have a clean, healthy heart-to-heart with your wife.

      5. Decide if it makes sense to try to get back together:

      You may come to the realization at some point that you should still be together with your ex. Maybe you will have an epiphany that tells you that you can make things work again. That's okay; if it happens, just put together a plan to get her back into your life. Just remember to take a strategic approach to it: getting back together will not happen overnight.

      Try these 5 things as you work to move forward in your life after your ex has left you.