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  • I want my ex back...

    RomanceDictionary.com
    Hello,
    Im here again for some advice.
    So, i met this guy and at first i thought this guy is boring. But then he asked me out and i went "whats the harm" . It turned out to be a really good first date and a few days later we went on our second date which turned out to be great too.
    After that we talked on the phone everyday.
    I didnt want to overthink things and make him pull away so i went with the flow.
    After 2 weeks, he told me that he wanted to be official and that he wanted to be with me. So i said ok lets try this.
    We had a great time with each other. I loved spending time with him. He made me see myself and the world in different ways each time we talked.
    He was everything i was looking in a Man to find. Even though we have different life goals, he tried to comfort me and made me feel like we can make it work.
    And things were going really great for about three weeks.
    But then suddenly one day he texted me "we need to talk". Somehow i knew what was coming. That evening we talked on the phone and he said : " you are a great woman but something doesnt feel right. Its not you, its me" and broke things off. I was heartbroken because i couldnt understand what happened.
    We have been in contact and i want to win him back but i dont know how to do that...

    Anyone some advice ?


  • #2
    Here are some things you need to ask yourself in order to determine what your ex boyfriend meant by "it's not you, it's me" and what you can do if you really do want to get him back.

    - Was your boyfriend acting strange before he broke up with you? If so, then the breakup must have been on his mind for awhile. Sometimes this means that he was getting freaked out by your relationship and couldn't handle the responsibility. Sometimes it also can mean that he found someone else (or thought he did).

    - Did everything seem fine before your boyfriend called off your relationship? This could mean that he was having a hard time deciding whether or not he should break up with you. He probably does really love you, and something else happened. He could be feeling pressure from his friends or family. He could also be really busy and just not feel like he has time for a relationship.

    - Did a big life event happen to your boyfriend right before the breakup? Sometimes an identity crisis can make your boyfriend say "it's not you, it's me." If he just graduated, or is about to move, or start a new job... any of these things can make a boyfriend break up with you. If anything tragic happened to his family or life within the last year, it could be that once he got through the situation he feels different and now feels like you don't fit in his life anymore.

    If any of these things sound familiar and you still want your boyfriend back, what can you do? First, recognize the situation for what it really is: his problem. It's true, sometimes guys say "it's not you, it's me" as a cop out because they don't know what else to say (or they're cheating). But sometimes it really is his problem. So take that as a sign not to beat yourself up over the breakup. Don't take what he said too personally, and make sure that you still continue on with your life. Don't sit around waiting for him to want you back -- this will only turn him off and make him feel trapped.

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    • #3
      I'm going to outline some steps you can take to make sure the odds are on your side. He is only human, and it is very possible to get him back.

      The first step you want to take is to NOT RESIST the break up. That's right, you want to accept the breakup. Act like it was "your idea first" so to speak. This will throw him for the loop and leave him feeling vulnerable. There is a fine line between making him feel vulnerable and pushing him away for good. You see, people want what they can't have. This is a proven aspect of human nature. This can be seen in any facet of life from the stock market to relationships. This is why many people will preach that "money does not buy happiness", and why jackpot lottery winners are back to "base line" happiness after only a year of hitting the damn lottery.

      During a break up, often times you get so clouded by emotion that it's easy to do things that are irrational. I have seen this in the form of "text message terrorism" or "voice mail terrorism". One person or both start leaving non-stop messages either trying to find out more about why the breakup occurred or to profess their undying love. You want to avoid this at all costs. This is part of what I call "not supplicating to their demands". By subtly not doing what they want you to do, you create a "power rift" so to speak and gain control by causing them to "chase" you so to speak. This again can be reflected among the super-wealthy: people with billions of dollars still chase more dollars. As they gain the things they demand, the size of the demand goes up.

      These tips are only part of the puzzle. Sometimes its easiest to let somebody else do the research for you, and just follow a step-by-step plan laid out in front of you. If you'd like to learn more about a method that utilizes extremely unconventional techniques and suggestibility to rekindle the attraction that was always between you, I've included a link to a site that provides a detailed overview of such a method. I highly recommend this method as it has stood the test of time, and it is one of the few guides that's worth paying $39 for. The creator of the guide has done so much research that he manages to give a books worth of information away for free before you even buy the guide... and still manages not to give away the "secrets" that make the guide truly worth the money. Remember, your ex boyfriend is only a human being, and his psychology is just as suggestible as anybody elses. Good luck, and remember, you CAN get him back.

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      • #4
        RomanceDictionary.com
        You need to clear things out and talk to him personally, phone is really not a good venue of breaking up.

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