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Just can’t get over her



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  • Just can’t get over her

    It’s been one year and 6 months since we broke up. I’ve reached out here and there but she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I’m 51. And she’s 49. We were engaged and together for 2.5 years. I try to date but that sucks. I feel lost. Wish I knew how she’s doing.

    How long one will this last? I am still so sad over it. Huge regrets.

  • #2
    If you haven't gotten over her yet, it's pretty much impossible to predict when you'll start to feel normal.
    I'd suggest trying some counseling, it sounds like you're dwelling in what once was and there's something prohibiting you from moving forwards. I truly feel like without addressing those root issues, you probably wont get over this woman.


    • #3
      First, you have to understand that if you cannot get over the breakup you do have a problem. Do you know why? Because she doesn't care about you anymore, she'll likely not be even calling you back and she is ignoring you totally. She may have already moved on and forgot about all the wonderful things you both have enjoyed. At times like this, a breakup is a wake up call for you.

      The reason that you can't forget her is not that you know her a lot or she is the loveliest woman in the world.

      You can't get over her now is because you still have vacancy within you. Yes I say it again; you do actually have a (BIG) hole inside you. You feel a part of you is empty, so you thought your ex can do the job of filling that hole. No! She won't be able to fulfill that for you. In fact no one else will, only you can.

      What is it that I am talking about? What does the 'big hole' means? It is neediness. Some guys just cannot be themselves; they have to have a woman by their side to make them feel like real men.

      The thing is they think the other person will make them feel whole. If they do not get their ex, they'll become sissy. They do not have a positive self image and they cannot be themselves till they receive the approval of others. If you belong to this category then you need to break out of that now.

      You must uncover that big hole; ask yourself why you still desire your ex so hard, what makes you love her. When you have the root answer then you can dig for more answers. This will help you to recognize yourself. It may be the feeling you need to feel important or probably the need for compliance.

      The moment you get your wants implemented you will start to be yourself and self assured - which is the quality that's mesmerizing to your ex.


      • #4
        Lots of men make dumb decisions when they are newly single and this includes getting drunk and sleeping with random women. This is not a good way to cure your heartbreak. All you are going to end up doing is wishing that these random girls were her. Plus, the alcohol will make you think irrationally and you might end up drunk dialing her and making the situation worse.

        There are better ways to start getting over your ex girlfriend so you can forget about her fast. Getting out of town for a while is a great way to make that happen. Everything around you is reminding her of you so if you take yourself out of town, it'll give you the jumpstart that you need to move on.