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  • A little confused...any advice?

    RomanceDictionary.com
    So I was in an on again off again relationship with my ex for almost 8 years. We had a child together when I was 22, but things weren't working out. He was into smoking pot a lot and I was doing everything myself (to raise our daughter) and he was getting abusive. So I left him. We tried getting back together a few years after, and things were grood but didn't work because I was in college and scheduling didn't work out and he was still under the control of his mother.

    After that I've been through many unsuccessful relationships. Most recently (about a month), broke up with someone who was perfect at the beginning and we were even engaged. But things started to get rough. He was very self absorbed and was controlling and my daughter and I only seemed to be an accessory to him. We were together for 4 and a half years.

    While I was with him though, I couldn't help but think about my daughters father from time to time. How things were before. I kept wondering if I were with him how life would be like today...

    Now that I am single, I have been talking to my daughters father more recently and we have even all been out together (as friends and we had clearly told my daughter that.) My daughter loves her dad to death and I know she would love nothing more than for us to get back together. I on the other hand, don't know if he would want to try things again. He said he's happy being single, but I also know that I hurt him a lot when I broke up with him the last time. I know he still loves me because he hasn't wanted to get into a serious relationship with anyone since me. I find my feeling are growing for him again though and it would be nice to have our family whole again.

    There is another thing that's happened recently and this is what I'm most confused about...he has recently told his mom off because she's been taking advantage of him for so many years and he finally had enough of it. He's become more independent having a job and paying his own bills and for his car etc., he also doesn't smoke pot all that often anymore. His mom kicked him out because of the argument and now he has to find a place to live. My daughter and I are also currently looking for a place to live because we don't live in a very good neighbourhood and have had some issues. The thing is though, is all of the apartments listed are too expensive for my budget. So I've been seriously contemplating renting an apartment together (with 3 rooms). I ran the idea by him and he said he's seriously considering it because it would save him money and he would also be able to see our daughter more. I asked him if it would be weird and he said not unless you make it weird...

    So I'm not really sure what to do. My mom doesn't really like him just because of the things that have happened in the past, but my sister had said she's always liked him. So there's also the worry about that. But if we were to try to work things out again, it would be convenient if we lived together because we can see how things go. I told him it was just something that I was thinking about and I'm not even sure myself but we could talk more about it later. My concern is his pot smoking, if he'd be able to stop... And I wouldn't want his mother visiting either.

    Such a convoluted situation lol. Please give me any advice on what you would do in this situation. Anything will help! Thanks!
    Last edited by MissShananigans; 10-13-2017, 05:09 AM.

  • #2
    Originally posted by MissShananigans View Post
    And I wouldn't want his mother visiting either.
    It won't be a bad idea to rent an apartment with him. However, you can't stop his mother from visiting. So if you have a problem with that, then don't rent an apartment with him.

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    • #3
      At the moment you aren't sure if things will work out between you both. If it turns out that things doesn't work out with you both, living with him in the same apartment will hurt your chances of dating other men. Living together with him will literally scare other men away from you.

      So, I will advice you take your time to reconsider your decision.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by MissShananigans View Post
        My concern is his pot smoking, if he'd be able to stop...
        I don't think smoking pot will be enough reason not to rent an apartment with him. You were able to cope with him smoking pot in the past, you can still cope with that even now.

        It will be nice to live with him again, just like old times. I am convinced that he still loves you.

        Comment


        • #5
          RomanceDictionary.com
          Why not? All of you need a new apartment and it's the best solution. But your daughter shouldn't be too cheerful about her parents coming together again - probably.

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