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Got into a relationship with my bestfriend. Broke up. Nothing left now.Advice needed

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  • Got into a relationship with my bestfriend. Broke up. Nothing left now.Advice needed


    Hey there, I am new to this forum.
    I got into relationship with my bestfriend. She was so close to me and she would pick me over anybody else and I will do the same. She pranked 2-3 times that she wants to be in a relationship. One fine day she wanted to be in a relationship and I kept on calling it a prank. Finally she proposed and we go into a relationship. In just a week she said me she had a dream.. and in that dream we didn't end up together. I got **** and told her convinced her of breaking up but she told me she never wanted a breakup. And she spoke to her girl bestfriend about it and she told me she needed a breakup. I cried,begged and did all nonsense and we got back together the next day itself. After that we had sex at her place. A week after that she wanted to break up again. She video called me even the night before the breakup. So she broke it off in just two weeks. I asked her for a reason she gave different reason every other time. Sometimes she would tell me she couldn't love me more than a bestfriend or that she just likes being single or it was a prank that messed things up... And again we were back to being bestfriends but I behaved like a despo and kept on asking her that if I am still her best friend cos the way she texts me was very different she kept on telling me that she was busy with her college and she wasn't even talking to her mom. So we had many fights and arguments.. Finally she told me we can't be nothing more than just friends... I begged a lot but no use. It's been four months and we are still in talking terms. I can't let go of my feelings for her.. I need her back. But she told me that she has moved on. Please don't tell me moving on is the best way cos I want to try it till the end. Now I am thinking to go into a no-contact period and bring positive changes in myself. Should I tell her that I will be doing the no-contact?
    I am thinking of texting something like this
    'I appreciate that you still want us to be friends. But right now it is too hard for me to be just friends with you and I think it's best that I distance myself from you a little bit. I really hope the break will lead to the opportunity of a 'second first impression'. I have been thinking about our relationship and I feel it was right but with a bad timing(there is a ocean of bad things that happened in my life those days which you don't know and ik telling you those isn't gonna make any difference now). I don't want our relationship. I guess its what you want too. If our relationship was something completely desirable then it wouldn't of ended in the first place. I want to try a completely mature relationship with you, free of lies and drama and full of trust and just as much love that we had before. I truly hope that our futures come together but if they don't then this process will potentially help me move on. I am sorry for all the emotional trauma I put you in. I wish you all success for all your future endeavours.Please don't hesitate to call me if you need any kinda help. I am always here for you. Goodbye '
    Or this:
    'I appreciate that you still want us to be friends. But right now it is too hard for me to be just friends with you and I think it's best that I distance myself from you a little bit.I am sorry for all the emotional trauma I put you in. I wish you all success for all your future endeavours. Please don't hesitate to call me if you need any kinda help. I am always here for you. Goodbye '

    Please help me guys. I want to be with her again. I feel really bad that I was the one who made her to think of breaking up in the first place.

    She told one of her friends that she was thinking for 5-6 days and gathered all the courage to break up. Looks like she has made up her mind.

  • #2
    However much you feel the need to call your ex, don't do it. If you really want to get her love back you must stop contacting her after the break up. No calls, no texts, no emails, no flower deliveries, nothing. You have to essentially disappear from her life for several weeks. Most men don't understand the importance of doing this after a break up, but it's crucial to getting her back. You have to create a void in her life. There needs to be an empty spot that you once filled. If she doesn't feel this, she won't miss you and missing you is essential to getting her back.

    There's a lot of debate swirling around about whether or not dating someone else with the intention of making your ex jealous will help get her love back. It's not the best idea. One of the reasons this approach doesn't work well is that it has big backfire potential. Women rarely forget anything and if your ex sees you with another girl that image will be burned in her mind for eternity. That will make it much harder for you to get her back and keep her in your life. Even if you do happen to win her back after she sees you with another woman, she's likely to bring it up during your first argument after you two reunite. It's likely to haunt you and the relationship forever.

    Comment


    • #3
      Your first inclination might be to either write her a long drawn out letter or email professing your undying love, or calling her non-stop until she has no choice but to take you back. If you are considering either of these approaches, you need to stop yourself. Right after a break up it's always a good idea to take some time to think about things. This time is exactly what your ex girlfriend needs and wants. You need to respect that and leave her alone. If you are still in love with your ex girlfriend you can demonstrate that love to her by taking a step back and keeping yourself out of the picture, at least for now.

      Once some time has passed it's important that you reenter her life, but in a very specific way. If she is open to the idea, you can present yourself as a friend. This means treating her as you would any other friend. Don't bring her flowers or gifts and don't ask her out. Instead keep all conversations light and if she suggests getting together, do it in a non-committal way, such as having a mid day coffee or a light lunch. You want her to see the great qualities you possess but it needs to be in a non-threatening way. If you start asking her out on a date or reaching to hold her hand, it's likely to spook her and she'll want and need to create some distance from you again.

      If you are still in love with your ex girlfriend and she starts dating someone else, you may want to point out all his shortcomings to her. Telling her what's wrong with the new guy, in an effort to win her back, will backfire. She'll think you are being petty, possessive and jealous. Not one of these qualities is appealing to a woman after a break up. If she does bring him up, tell her that's great and you hope the two of them have a lot of fun with each other. This one response alone can trigger her desire to be reunited with you, since she'll wonder where all the feelings you had for her went.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Damian View Post
        However much you feel the need to call your ex, don't do it. If you really want to get her love back you must stop contacting her after the break up. No calls, no texts, no emails, no flower deliveries, nothing. You have to essentially disappear from her life for several weeks. Most men don't understand the importance of doing this after a break up, but it's crucial to getting her back. You have to create a void in her life. There needs to be an empty spot that you once filled. If she doesn't feel this, she won't miss you and missing you is essential to getting her back.

        There's a lot of debate swirling around about whether or not dating someone else with the intention of making your ex jealous will help get her love back. It's not the best idea. One of the reasons this approach doesn't work well is that it has big backfire potential. Women rarely forget anything and if your ex sees you with another girl that image will be burned in her mind for eternity. That will make it much harder for you to get her back and keep her in your life. Even if you do happen to win her back after she sees you with another woman, she's likely to bring it up during your first argument after you two reunite. It's likely to haunt you and the relationship forever.
        Hey, thanks. I texted her this

        'Hey!
        I appreciate that you still want us to be friends. But right now it is too hard for me to be just friends with you,maybe because I didn't fake or prank my love for you. I think it's best that I distance myself from you a little bit.Thank you for everything that you gave me. I wish you all success for your future endeavours. Please don't hesitate to call me if you need any kinda help. I am always here for you. Goodbye '

        She replied with this.
        'Ok broh chill. ✌ I talked to you when we met in the competition because I felt as a human that’s what I’ll have to do in the least. Sorry if I had disturbed you in anyway. All the very best for your future. Always here for ya as your friend. Just let me know if something important happens or text me whenever.
        Cheers. ✌'

        Now I have already decided not to contact her for atleast 45 days. The question is what do I in these 45 days? I know I ll have to bring positive changes in my life. Should I post interesting things going on in my life on Instagram for her to see or create a complete void? And how do I proceed after the 45 days!

        ​​​​​​​Thanks

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Tina View Post
          Your first inclination might be to either write her a long drawn out letter or email professing your undying love, or calling her non-stop until she has no choice but to take you back. If you are considering either of these approaches, you need to stop yourself. Right after a break up it's always a good idea to take some time to think about things. This time is exactly what your ex girlfriend needs and wants. You need to respect that and leave her alone. If you are still in love with your ex girlfriend you can demonstrate that love to her by taking a step back and keeping yourself out of the picture, at least for now.

          Once some time has passed it's important that you reenter her life, but in a very specific way. If she is open to the idea, you can present yourself as a friend. This means treating her as you would any other friend. Don't bring her flowers or gifts and don't ask her out. Instead keep all conversations light and if she suggests getting together, do it in a non-committal way, such as having a mid day coffee or a light lunch. You want her to see the great qualities you possess but it needs to be in a non-threatening way. If you start asking her out on a date or reaching to hold her hand, it's likely to spook her and she'll want and need to create some distance from you again.

          If you are still in love with your ex girlfriend and she starts dating someone else, you may want to point out all his shortcomings to her. Telling her what's wrong with the new guy, in an effort to win her back, will backfire. She'll think you are being petty, possessive and jealous. Not one of these qualities is appealing to a woman after a break up. If she does bring him up, tell her that's great and you hope the two of them have a lot of fun with each other. This one response alone can trigger her desire to be reunited with you, since she'll wonder where all the feelings you had for her went.
          Yes, I have already committed those mistakes. But now I have decided not to contact her for 45 days. She has told me she just wants to be friends with me. And the relationship was just a prank gone wrong. She has told to her friends that she decided to breakup after thinking for 5-6 days. Now, do I still stand a chance to get her back?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Comebackbae View Post
            Now, do I still stand a chance to get her back?
            Examine the logical and emotional reasons why you want your ex back. Do you want her back because you think you need her, because you think you cannot live without her, or probably because you are convinced that there is no one else better that her? These, my friend, are all the wrong reasons for wanting to get back together. Needing and wanting is so different from love. If your relationship was based on these factors, then it was doomed from the beginning.

            Writing down a list of all the positive and negative memories of your past relationship will help you put everything into perspective. See, a list written down on paper will make more sense to you. Be honest with yourself. After you write it down and you actually see that the positive outweighs the negative, then the chances of getting back together is pretty great.

            Once you are 100% convinced that you want her back, then it is time to get back the attraction she once had for you. You may have to change how you look and act - for the better of course. Take the time apart from your ex to make yourself a better person physically and emotionally. Hit the gym and maybe shop for better clothes. If you had a behavioral problem she constantly nagged about, like excessive drinking of alcohol perhaps, then face the problem and deal with it. A support group does wonders in helping individuals with these kinds of problems. Being a better person inside and out definitely increases your chances of getting back together.


            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Tina View Post

              Examine the logical and emotional reasons why you want your ex back. Do you want her back because you think you need her, because you think you cannot live without her, or probably because you are convinced that there is no one else better that her? These, my friend, are all the wrong reasons for wanting to get back together. Needing and wanting is so different from love. If your relationship was based on these factors, then it was doomed from the beginning.

              Writing down a list of all the positive and negative memories of your past relationship will help you put everything into perspective. See, a list written down on paper will make more sense to you. Be honest with yourself. After you write it down and you actually see that the positive outweighs the negative, then the chances of getting back together is pretty great.

              Once you are 100% convinced that you want her back, then it is time to get back the attraction she once had for you. You may have to change how you look and act - for the better of course. Take the time apart from your ex to make yourself a better person physically and emotionally. Hit the gym and maybe shop for better clothes. If you had a behavioral problem she constantly nagged about, like excessive drinking of alcohol perhaps, then face the problem and deal with it. A support group does wonders in helping individuals with these kinds of problems. Being a better person inside and out definitely increases your chances of getting back together.

              Thanks, I am 100% convinced that I want her back. She hasn't had any behavioral problems with me. What all changes should I bring in myself emotionally? How do I exhibit these changes to her?
              Now that I am not talking to her, should I post in Instagram to show that I am still going on with my life without her? Or block her on all social media and create a complete void?

              Thanks

              Comment

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