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Should I Text Him And Ask Him about Dinner?

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  • Should I Text Him And Ask Him about Dinner?

    RomanceDictionary.com
    My ex broke up with me after which I have begged him twice to take me back but he didn’t. I decided to go No Contact on him and apparently he has started to contact me and asked me out for dinner. Two days ago, he saw me and came to me and grabbed me giving me a tight hug. I gave a very cold reaction as I was very surprised that it was happening. After the meet, he texted me saying “you didn’t seem very happy to see me....i was surprised, oh well”. To which i replied “I was surprised as I wasn’t expecting it” .....he hasn’t texted me back after that. We are supposed to meet for dinner tonight but I am not sure if he would text me for dinner because i gave such a cold reaction. Should i text him and ask him about dinner? He hasn’t said anything about it today. Please help.

  • #2
    Originally posted by vishalsahay View Post
    Should i text him and ask him about dinner?
    You will be making a big mistake if you do that. He definitely hasn't forgotten about the dinner and he deliberately didn't contact you. So, texting him about it will mean you begging him to be with you and that will be giving him power over, and I know that's not what you want.

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    • #3
      He started contacting you again because you decided to go no contact, so texting him about the dinner will simply ruin the advantage you had as a result of doing no contact. I strongly advice you don't contact him, let him do the work to get you back, and when you are sure he is serious about wanting you bacnd chance.

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      • #4
        I am going to give you a simple answer: DON'T TEXT HIM!

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        • #5
          Sorry i saw your reply really late. Ok so i made the big mistake of texting him back!! I know i am a fool. When i asked him about dinner he canceled it. It made me mad and i decided to drive ip to his place to end it for good. We met at a coffee shop where he said that he misses me a lot and was crying a lot. I told him that if we can’t be together we cannot be friends either because it hurts me. I told him that after the break up i have been depressed just as much as him and at a moment of weakness i even had suicidal thoughts. We talked for a long time and I asked him to take a week and let me know whether he wants to be with me or no. And if the answer is no, we can’t be friends. When i was on my way home from the coffee shop, he texted my sister and my best friend that i need help as i am vulnerable and suicidal. He was crying out loud to my best friend saying that he loves me and is worried about me. I called him up to explain him that i am NOT suicidal so he doesn’t need to take the decision out of pity. Two days later, i got anxious and my friend called him from my phone saying that she is worried about me and he came running thinking that I was suicidal. I asked him whether his answer is yes or no. And he said that he respects me enough to not be with me out of pity as he has fallen out of love. He was crying. He said I can’t love anyone before i love myself. I love myself but i think I shouldn’t have brought up the suicidal thoughts topic. I was just expressing how depressed i was when we broke up. Anyway i told him that i need to move on and we can’t be friends as i need time to heal. I know i have ruined all my chances of getting back with him but do you think i still have a chance?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by vishalsahay
            I know i have ruined all my chances of getting back with him but do you think i still have a chance?
            In order to improve you chances of getting him back you will have to put in time and effort to the road of recovery. It can happen but you need a bucket load of patience. First thing you need to address is the reason behind the breakup. You need to spend some time to figure out what really went wrong. This is the initial step, after the hurt and pain of the initial shock.

            Your Roadmap

            You need to figure out what lead up to the breakup and how you can avoid this in the future. You will have to address this if you want to have any chance of getting back together.

            If you can't fix the issue you had before, then what makes you think you can have a second chance with your ex. You will just repeat the pain and the hurt all over again. If you truly want to get your ex back, then you will have to decide for yourself that you will take as much time and effort to make it work. You will have to proceed with caution and patience.

            Keeping Yourself Honest

            If your actions was the root of the breakup, then you need to take full responsibility of your actions. No excuses or justifications behind it. You need to face the music and fess up. Do really want to get back together with your ex? Maybe you are afraid of being alone and feel that you can't find another mate. Although its hard to see right now, life does exist after a breakup. The pain right now might be too much but time will be your ally with your healing. How are you going to avoid the mistakes of the past? You should think long and hard on this.

            Getting back together will take effort on both sides of the relationship. Right now, you can only focus on what you can do on your own. Your ex will have their own issues to face, so don't worry too much about him. Communication is key. But it's best to limit your contact with your ex, even though it was your fault for the breakup. Be sure to remember to be sincere and totally honest. Anything otherwise will backfire.

            Give Some Space

            By limiting your contact, you will allow both of you to think things through. Your ex needs to cool off and you need to get your game plan in order. When you take the time to reflect on things and get your head on straight, you will be able to better handle any future communication between you too. If your ex was bored with the relationship, find how to bring excitement back to the relationship. Often times couples get too comfortable with each other that the spark fades away. If you were caught cheating, then you need to make sure you convince your ex it will never, ever happen again. Once you can address the obstacles that caused the breakup, then you can drastically improve your chances of getting back together.

            The Road Ahead

            Getting your ex back is about understanding human nature and repairing what went wrong in the past. It will take effort on your part since feelings can be very strong after a breakup. However, time and patience will go a long way to helping you get the second chance you deserve.

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            • #7
              RomanceDictionary.com
              Hello, the reason of the break up was that we both used to fight a lot and were controlling to each other. We both take responsibility for our actions. The only difference is that I took efforts to save the relationship and he gave up saying that he was exhausted. He is a very nice guy and very sweet. He would go above and beyond to do things for me and so would I. Our insecurities and jealousy issues caused problems between us.

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