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Can I attract her again in the future? Will I Ever See her again?

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  • Can I attract her again in the future? Will I Ever See her again?

    RomanceDictionary.com
    Before I get started on this Novella, I would like to say Person A was my first everything, this does not add to my ability to let go.
    Person A=Female
    Age: 19-21
    My Age=22-24

    The first year and half together was great, obviously honeymoon period. We saw each other often , intimacy was often. As the relationship went on in the last few months , I felt as Person A felt i had become a parent to her. Making sure she was dong what she had to do , and being on top of her health and school, etc. I cared, i didn't want her to fall and struggle. I had warned her about repercussions. But I kept on top of Person A because no one else was. I fed her, I paid for almost all her things, I always surprised her with things. I went above and beyond for the person to make sure they were happy and well. So much that I lost who i was, because i was so in-tuned to make sure she was okay and well. I stopped buying things for myself, i stopped doing my own things or hobbies. I was just so focused on spending time with her and making her happy.

    Person A and I had dated for a year and half. Almost 2 years, but for the last(July-November) 4 months I had found out Person A had been cheating, so those months are negligible. Those 4 months were majority the summer where I had taken summer courses and was unavailable morning to 6pm. At that time Person A had been dealing with family issues and went to an "old friend" for emotional and physical affection. Person A lived an hour or two away from me, depending on traffic and Person A parents did not let them go out often. The "old friend" lived much closer then me so he was much more easily accessible especially that Person A parents didn't like her to go out and be out for long amount of hours. It was difficult to see her due to this issue in the summer. The days person A would go out she would go be the "old friend." In the Fall she told me she no longer loved me and apologized. The next day i lurked to see what had happened and this was when I found the evidence of her infidelity. 200 pages worth. Person A and "old friend" have a complicated history and had been out of her life when I met Person A so i had no idea of any knowledge of that person. She had replaced me for those 4 months. She barely contacted me.

    Person A and I decided to take some time apart from each other. (December)We made a deal to write a journal for 30 days to each other , no contact. She broke after 22 days. She told me she missed me and did not want to live how she was living.
    The first year of us going out, She quit smoking marijuana for me. I wasn't a fan. She had done it 5 times behind my back and sometimes I might have blown up but I blew up because she went behind my back for it. In December she had smoked a lot and realized she didn't' want to live like that. So we talked it out and compromised. Moderation. We didn't really fight, we talked everything out. we always came to a compromise.We didn't have problems with each other. In the beginning of relationship she was the clingy one , the needy one etc. After she cheated on me , it became me. After saying she loved me again December , in January, she told me she didn't love me anymore again and wanted to be alone and not be with anyone. that she wanted no sexual relationship or even thought of sex. She was just trying to improve herself and be independent. She had told me she blocked the "old friend", she re-added him and interacted with him in January. All of January i fought to be with her. We still played together video games and kept contact, she likes attention. At the end of January she told me wanted space from me. Three days later she calls me asking for help, she needs to fix a school issue and solve it for her. Saved her life. In February i tell her and give her a letter , its me or old friend basically. She tells me she was going to ask me out for Valentines day , but the week before Valentines day i see she is still intimate with old friend. So I end contact with her.

    (March)Our birthdays are close together and surprised her with an intimate Spa day. It went well. Physical , emotional , etc.
    the second week into March she keeps asking to spend time together. So we do, and she says shes happy again. I told her not to tell me she loves unless she means it again. We are having sex again obviously but she still says there shes not attracted to me anymore., that her love is platonic. The weird thing was that she was sincere in saying i was the best sex she had, and that i only improved with my oral game(there was a problem with it prior)Another thing she disliked was smell of penis and taste of cum but i was lathering more and fixing that issue.(Wasnt always an issue)
    After a few more days spending time together and being intimate she tells me she loves me again. At this point i was very clingy in march, insecure, etc. All bad things, i had been watching her every move making sure she hadn't tried anything. I didn't trust her yet. I was so fixated on her going back to the other guy or doing something behind my back because she would not let go contact of him, because they were "best friends". I had asked her who you talking to , what you doing. I was too on top of her. In April she ended things to try and be with a completely different person. Someone who was opposite of me. Muscular and just self indulged. She told me she didn't love me anymore, She wasn't attracted to me. She wanted me to leave her alone basically. She really waned to be with this new person. I gave her a letter in May and had a hard time letting go. I would call her once a week or so. Anyway, we finally blocked each other at the end of May. She had to do it. I had spoke to her a times times this June, missing her. She had called me to tell me she was throwing the journal i wrote for her in December away, she had finally read it but it was too much for her to keep. She wanted to let me know. She had then called me the next day to say she didn't like how the talk ended between us that day. We spent a day playing video games together and i regretted it because she just thinks for herself at the moment. I had also sent her an erotic story i wrote but that was dumb of me, she said it was inappropriate and i cant send her that. She talks to so many guys now probably plus that one guy she is in love with(i feel like its more like infatuation) while i'm here and suffer. The guy is playing hard to get as well or just using her. She is moving on clearly, will learn many lessons. I did everything for her or tried to and that was wrong of me.She doesn't want anything to do with me it seems, and just wants to move on. I had called her 3x today after one week of not speaking and she was at work and sounded irritated that i called(she picked up on third call) I apologized and hung up. I know she wont call me back or text me. She loves someone who i don't think loves her. Talking to guys who really don't have any interest in her besides sexual. She loves attention. I'm happy she has a job now and is doing well for that fact. She had smoked all of May and cooled down in June.

    So now... i'm at the point where i have no connection to my former love and there's nothing i can do. The only thing i can do is move on, improve myself. She gave me no reason for doing what she did, i know she has low self-esteem and other problems. She made me feel worthless but i know i'm one special guy. She turned my good, into unhealthy. I had never been insecure or clingy prior or needy. I became everything a girl hates after that. I know now i cant see her because of how i feel and how i am. That is why i must improve and keep my distance. I don't want to lose her from my life though. I want to be with her after everything but it must be a clean slate. I want to attract her again. I've been going to the gym and looking for job . Try and build up my career while in my last year of school. Guidance and thoughts are much appreciated. Any Questions or inquiries?

    I also am disappointed in myself that i contacted her and became what i had become and i don't want to be that way. I think i might have annoyed her by trying to keep in contact. Have i damaged my chances in getting having another change with her? I know she read the letter i gave her in May recently again, but i'm not taking it as a good bad sign. I don't want her to hate me or think of me as annoying. I don't want to be the crazy Ex. She had called me the best thing to ever happen to her and she was the happiest she ever was with me. She appreciated everything i did for her etc. I miss her.

    Forgot to ADD: blocked from all contact

  • #2
    What you can do is make her love you again - but how? Here is 7 easy steps to get back into her heart, just as you were before.

    1. Forget about the past - put the past firmly behind you. This is important for bitterness and anger would not allow you to be the best person you can be. And if you want her back, you need to be just that - the best person you can be.

    2. Get your act together - you need to look and feel confident. This is what makes a man look good and attractive. It does not matter how you feel, you need to control it all and project yourself as a man who is in full control of himself, confident, hard and focused.

    3. Change to your best advantage - recall what she wanted most in you. Change ever so slightly to become the man of her dreams and show it to her. Let her know that she is so special to you that it made you change for her. This is extremely flattering and most women find it irresistible.

    4. Go out with other girls - do not stop living just because you are still in love with your ex. Your popularity with the opposite gender would do you good. Your ex girlfriend would start realizing that you could be whisked away from her for good any day. This would make her want to have you back again, sooner than later.

    5. Do not fall over yourself to get her attention - be careful not to show her too much attention. If you do, she will move away from you. Ignore her a little bit; better still be friendly with her, but focus all your romantic behavior to other girls around her.

    6. Remember her special days - be careful to remember her special days. This will keep her guessing - 'does he still love me or not?' Intrigue is always good in this type of situation.

    7. Build on your old mistakes - look back on your relationship and identify the faults that took place then. Build on the experience and use it to strengthen your future new relationship. Your girlfriend would love the new strong, confident and sensitive you.

    Comment


    • #3
      You see, love alone can't bring you what you want. It takes more than this if you want to win this girl back. What you're looking for is attraction. Because in order to win her love back (the kind of love that you're thinking of), you must get her to want you first.

      Always remember this, love begins and ends with attraction. So with this in mind, I'm going to give you three ways in which you can rebuild the latter so that the former naturally follows.

      1) Demonstrate Value

      Right now there's a good chance that you've made the classic mistakes most guys make during a breakup: begging, pleading, and persuading her for a second chance. Unfortunately, things of this sort don't work - they only make matters worse.

      Instead, what you must do is the opposite. Think of when you started dating this girl. Did you do any of the above? Of course not. What you did is demonstrate value: you showed her the best side of yourself and made her realize that you're someone that's worth pursuing further.

      Now you must do the same - whatever that may be. It's not difficult. You just need to think back to how things where when you first started your relationship. Then take it from there.

      2) Demonstrate Scarcity

      Every woman wants a man that's hard to get. And this goes hand in hand with demonstrating value. By definition, anything valuable is also scarce in supply. Therefore, in order to win her love back you must limit the amount of attention you give to her. Make her "work" for it instead (again, the exact opposite of what you've probably been doing).

      3) Demonstrate Consistency

      Above all, you must take a stance and stick to it when it comes to getting this girl back. Don't allow yourself to be valuable and scarce one day while becoming needy and overly available the next.

      The worst thing you can do (even worse than making the classic mistakes listed above) is to switch up your approach on a regular basis. This will only serve to confuse her and even give up on you altogether.

      If you can take the above three ways and use them as a springboard to craft your own relationship repair approach, you'll be able to get her attracted to you again in no time, and with this, her love will soon follow. Best wishes.

      Comment


      • #4
        RomanceDictionary.com
        Originally posted by Elliot View Post
        You see, love alone can't bring you what you want. It takes more than this if you want to win this girl back. What you're looking for is attraction. Because in order to win her love back (the kind of love that you're thinking of), you must get her to want you first.

        Always remember this, love begins and ends with attraction. So with this in mind, I'm going to give you three ways in which you can rebuild the latter so that the former naturally follows.

        1) Demonstrate Value

        Right now there's a good chance that you've made the classic mistakes most guys make during a breakup: begging, pleading, and persuading her for a second chance. Unfortunately, things of this sort don't work - they only make matters worse.

        Instead, what you must do is the opposite. Think of when you started dating this girl. Did you do any of the above? Of course not. What you did is demonstrate value: you showed her the best side of yourself and made her realize that you're someone that's worth pursuing further.

        Now you must do the same - whatever that may be. It's not difficult. You just need to think back to how things where when you first started your relationship. Then take it from there.

        2) Demonstrate Scarcity

        Every woman wants a man that's hard to get. And this goes hand in hand with demonstrating value. By definition, anything valuable is also scarce in supply. Therefore, in order to win her love back you must limit the amount of attention you give to her. Make her "work" for it instead (again, the exact opposite of what you've probably been doing).

        3) Demonstrate Consistency

        Above all, you must take a stance and stick to it when it comes to getting this girl back. Don't allow yourself to be valuable and scarce one day while becoming needy and overly available the next.

        The worst thing you can do (even worse than making the classic mistakes listed above) is to switch up your approach on a regular basis. This will only serve to confuse her and even give up on you altogether.

        If you can take the above three ways and use them as a springboard to craft your own relationship repair approach, you'll be able to get her attracted to you again in no time, and with this, her love will soon follow. Best wishes.
        I forgot to Mention, I'm blocked from everything.

        Comment

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