Online dating novice - where to begin...?

[ilostmykeys]

Not entirely sure where to even begin... My friends in the real world have zero experience with online dating, and I feel slightly apprehensive about asking them for their opinion if I were to bring the idea up. It isn't embarrassment or shame that stops me from asking my friends, it's basically a "Is there any merit in asking the oblivious fools?". Instead, I'll share my thoughts on here.

Now, I don't particularly have strong desires to meet my fated other, nor do I solely wish to use an online dating website for hooking up with women. What I do want is the opportunities to experience casual dating, and just getting to meet interesting people on a friendly night out. I'm still learning who I am as a person; plus for me to develop into a better human being, I believe taking the time to learn about other people is equally important as learning about yourself.

I wish to ask people who're accustomed to online dating for suggestions for friendly suggestions.

Thanks in advance for any feedback.

[Ella]

Know what you want

Before you create your online dating profile, sit down and think about what you are really out for. The kind of woman you would like to meet which includes her personality, hobbies, attitudes, her general disposition, qualifications etc. This will serve as a guide for you as you will be able to go after the woman of your dreams. Try to make this part of your profile but put it in a positive manner that won't turn off your kinda girl. This will also make the woman see you as someone who is focused and she also will work towards being that kind of woman.

Take charge

Play the lead role. Don't expect a lady to be too forward for your sake, they might feel cheap. Ladies will expect you to play your role by taking charge. Make her feel relaxed and safe. You can ask a girl you met online for her number after the 3rd or 4th message. It shouldn't be on the first chat so she won't feel as if you just want to take her for granted. You should also not delay too much before you ask for her number because she will get to see you as normal chat mate and she might lose interest after a while or even stop replying your chats. Also try to initiate the idea of you meeting at a public place in a broad day light so she will feel more secure.

Don't take women for granted

The fact that it is a dating site doesn't mean you should ask virtually all the ladies on the platform for a date. Don't always be online as if you are jobless and don't make it look like an interview where you are always submitting your CV. Try to show your sincerity.

Always write simple correct sentences

Short messages and statements full of errors will turn down any woman you approach. Always double-check your text for errors. Make every message a girl get from you worthwhile. Let her always look forward to reading your messages. A lady likes a confident man.

See online dating as the kick-off

The site is only a platform where you guys met. You have to meet the woman in person and know how things will work out for the best. Reality is the only place you can nurture what you want. You have to see in order to make the relationship grow.

[Clinton]

Online dating is still dating, and it's just as easy to turn someone off via a text message as it is at a bar or nightclub.

When you date online you do have the home field advantage. You might not even feel as nervous as on a face-to-face date since you get to keep a little bit of distance. However, before you get too comfortable and act the cyber-fool, there are a few basics in etiquette and dating strategies to remember.

10 Tips for Successful Online Dating

1. Upload a recent photo of yourself. No one appreciates talking to the you 20 years ago, or the Phantom behind the curtain that never reveals their face. Have the courtesy (and courage!) to show your face in a profile shot.

2. Don't focus too much on writing an "honest profile", although lying is never an option. What a lot of inexperienced singles do is ramble on about their life, rather than selling themselves-accentuating their positive qualities. Add a little mystery, a little humor, and a little adventure to your profile description. It shouldn't read like a police report!

3. Use either a matchmaking online dating site or search for partners that have mutual interests. Searching only by looks and location is not going to find you a "perfect mate." Narrowing your search down by niche interest is the best way to find a soul mate that shares your values, your interests, and your lifestyle.

4. Put some thought into your opening comments. Don't ask nosy questions. Don't say "hi" and wait for a response. Pretend that this is a posh nightclub and that you're dressed for your movie premiere. You see someone you find attractive and so you walk over like a movie star, confidence beaming, and then you say... (That's how your conversation should start)

5. Have some fun. Flirt, joke, and ask casual questions with the occasional pop culture reference for some giggles. Too many people make the mistake of treating the online chat like a job interview. Why? Job interviews are boring, stressful and the opposite of fun and spontaneous!

6. Don't focus too much attention on dark, negative, or painful conversations. (And if you're even thinking of bringing up your ex, go stand in the corner!) Keep the conversation light and humorous. Exchange thoughts on ideas, philosophy, movies and books, and interesting facts. Avoid any topic that you feel too strongly about, or anything controversial.
7. Spend a few nights talking, sharing photos, video chatting, and surfing the web together. However, when you reach a certain level of trust it's time to transition from online chat to phone conversation. Staying online forever handicaps your dating progress. You might even be inadvertently friend-zoning yourself, if your online date thinks you're too afraid to talk on the phone.

8. After you chat on the phone, arrange a time to meet in a neutral location where you can further build trust. This is the ultimate goal of online dating. You don't want to keep a virtual mistress. You want to make the transition from online date to a real life date, and perhaps onward to a proper love interest!

9. You're not expected to be "faithful" to an online date, but use some discretion. Don't instant message (IM) four or five dates at once and accidentally send a message to the wrong person. It makes you look like a player. Or worse yet, like a poor multi-tasker!

10. Be careful about posting any personal information until well after you've met in person. It's easy to cut and paste a profile name, or a full name, into a search engine and stalk someone at any given time.

Online dating is a simulation of a real date, which means there are certain responsibilities you have to keep your partner interested. The online fantasy can only go so far. Turn this "text" into something real.

[ilostmykeys]

Sorry, guys. I know you're trying to be helpful, but it kinda feels like you're just copy and pasting stuff from a script. I'm only asking for website suggestions. =)

[Jafo]

Not entirely sure where to even begin... My friends in the real world have zero experience with online dating, and I feel slightly apprehensive about asking them for their opinion if I were to bring the idea up. It isn't embarrassment or shame that stops me from asking my friends, it's basically a "Is there any merit in asking the oblivious fools?". Instead, I'll share my thoughts on here.

Now, I don't particularly have strong desires to meet my fated other, nor do I solely wish to use an online dating website for hooking up with women. What I do want is the opportunities to experience casual dating, and just getting to meet interesting people on a friendly night out. I'm still learning who I am as a person; plus for me to develop into a better human being, I believe taking the time to learn about other people is equally important as learning about yourself.

I wish to ask people who're accustomed to online dating for suggestions for friendly suggestions.

Thanks in advance for any feedback.

Don't even bother. Online dating is a joke.

[njoe755]

online dating is fun. Nobody there wants anyhting serious so you shouldn't be worrying about it.

[kijoh]

online dating is fun. Nobody there wants anyhting serious so you shouldn't be worrying about it.