I Text Him and He Replied Asking If I Was Someone Else

[Bella]

So I meet this guy on Friday night . . . long story short, he was suave, nice and we ended up swapping numbers and had a few texts. I text him tonight and he replied asking if I was someone else. A different female. And then tried to save himself saying he was supposed to send that to someone else.
Yeah . . . cause when you hit reply it sends to 'another person's phone' . . .

[Bradwin]

OK, Bella . . . First off, your question wasn't actually a question but I'm going to use my dating and relationship experience to figure out what you want to know:

1. You want to know if it's possible he actually texted you that on accident or if he's playing some game with you.

2. You want to know if this guy is a player.

3. You want to know if you should keep texting this guy and maybe even date him or if you should move on.

So let's just dive in in numerical order.

1. Is it possible he texted you that on accident or is he playing some weird game?

Funny (and incredibly embarrassing and a little bit graphic) story:

A year ago I was in London City when I made a MAJOR texting mistake that could have blown up in my face.

And it was all Harry Potter's fault.

See, while I was in London, I met a woman (let's call her Jane) who had heard of me and wanted my advice on her writing career.

(She also worked for one friend of mine and was dating another friend of mine, so it's somebody I'd really rather not offend.)

We swapped numbers and started texting back and forth talking about writing and business stuff.

At the same time I was texting . . . less appropriate and downright dirty material to my fabulous and sexy and wonderful woman I know

My thumbs were flying over the keys going back and forth between "you need to get into the emotional truth of what your audience wants" with Jane . . .

And "I'm imagining your beautiful (CENSORED) as you (CENSORED) and feel my (CENSORED) in your (CENSORED) . . ."with this very lovely lady (have I mentioned texting works great when you're forced to spend miles apart?"

Then I saw Harry Potter.

See, while was having these two completely separate texting conversations I walked up the stairs in the Apple store and saw a skinny, short, pasty guy in sun glasses and a hat looking at the Mac Book Air's. And I SWEAR it was the guy who played Harry Potter in the movies. So I whipped out my phone and texted Jane . . .

"Wow, I just saw the guy who played Harry Potter in the Apple store" . . .

And then I texted this lovely lady . . . well, something really, really sexy.

And then I let drool run down my chin as I lusted after shiny Apple stuff thinking everything was right in the world . . .

A moment later my cell phone buzzed and I looked down to see a message from Jane that said something to the effect of "Huh, Harry Potter and Blow Jobs. Sounds like you're having an interesting afternoon."

After my guts stopped doing back flips at my mistake I typed her back . . ."Uh. Only one of those was meant for you. I would never talk about Harry Potter with someone I barely know."

Which is a really long way of saying "Yeah, it's totally possible he just messed up and sent you something by mistake."

(Tangentially, when I told this story to my lady friend, she spat beer through her nose. And Jane's boyfriend thought it was pretty funny too.)

Which brings us to the 2nd part of your non question:

2. Is this guy a player?

Maybe. Maybe not.

He's definitely flirting with and "picking up" other women.

But is that really a big deal?

I mean, you met him at a bar. He was suave and confident. He didn't get that way by sitting in the corner and playing Words with Friends (with his imaginary friends).

This guy is obviously "pretty good" with women and has probably put some effort into being that way.

Which means he's getting numbers and texting and going on dates and weeding through the options to find great women.

(Just like you're going to bars and going online and putting on slinky little skirts to meet great men.)

There's no commitment (either agreed upon or implied) here, so I don't think he's done anything terribly wrong (though sending you that message was dumb.)

So is he a player?

MAYBE. There's no real evidence here to tell us either way at this point.

And finally . . .

3. Should you see him again or should you kick him to the curb?

Totally up to you.

I was talking to a friend of mine who is really good with women the other day when he said that if women want "nice" guys they're going to have to go digging for them and do all the work.

Because "Nice" guys don't talk to women at bars (they're too scared.)

"Nice" guys aren't terribly attractive to women (Confidence is sexy and "nice" guys typically have no confidence.)

I can tell you from my own experience (as a former "nice" guy myself) that most men get to a point of utter frustration at a certain point (when they realize that being "nice" doesn't get them an awesome girlfriend) where they decide to stop being "nice" and learn some tricks to attract girls.

So this guy might be a "Nice guy" who's just playing the stupid dating game we all have to play.

Or he might be a player.

But you'll never find Mr. Right if you spend all your time and energy wondering about Mr. Wrong.

I reckon my reply will give you something to "think" about Anne.

Be interesting to know how you get on.

[ElizabethKovar]

Great advice!

[Bella]

Thank you Bradwin for you helpful advice.