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My sister recently got out of an unhealthy relationship. It took her a year to figure out that this guy really was a "douchebag" and she shouldn't have been with him from the beginning.
But I get it. It's tough.
When you meet a guy who has traits that seem "perfect" for you. He's tall, he's manly, he's good looking, he plays a musical instrument, he is Mr Popular etc.
We can quickly fall in love with TRAITS of a guy, but what about how a guy TREATS you?
Are you quick to gloss over the fact that he doesn't always call when he says he would, he's late to show up, he's always out with his friends, or he places his dog, his mum, his work, his friends, all before you?
Yes, I know, he's amazing. There are moments when he makes you swoon, when he makes you INCREDIBLY happy, and you can't believe you've snatched a guy as amazing as him... those moments when he tells you, he loves you and wants to marry you and have kids with you. It's hard to ignore those moments.
But, at what cost?
If a man doesn't treat you well, doesn't treat you the way you deserve; like the princess, goddess, angel, the number 1 thing in his life you deserve to be... what is the true cost of that behaviour?
How does it feel when he doesn't take your feelings into account?
How does it feel when he ditches you for friends?
How does it feel when he shuts the door in your face and calls you "crazy" or ignores you when you try to talk to him?
How does it feel when he goes behind your back, lies, steals or cheats on you?
I know how I would feel.. like "s***".
Is this how a man should treat a woman he loves?
Let's stop rewarding men for being douchebags.
If a guy tries to get you to do things you're not comfortable doing...
If a guy blows hot and cold, strings you along, won't commit and makes promises he doesn't keep...
If a guy tries to play games with you, tries to make YOU feel guilty for feeling the things you feel...
If a guy doesn't respect your time, your body, your mind and your feelings...
It's time to WALK.
Hit delete on his number in your phone. Unfriend him on facebook. Ignore forever.
Douchebags will never change.
Stop believing you can change him.
You can only change yourself. And you do that by walking away and finding someone more deserving of your time, love and investment.
How do you do that?
By Rewarding Men Who Deserve it.
Mr "Deserve Your Attention" Guy
...is the guy who is attentive - he cares about what you care about; you care about your sister? He's her new best friend. You care about being healthy and fit? He's giving suggestions and doing research on effective workouts and meals to eat. You care about your work? He knows not to disturb you when you're busy.
...is the guy who supports your goals and dreams - whatever crazy dream you have, he is 100% behind you, he doesn't critisize you, doesn't belittle you, doesn't make you feel you can't do it.
...is the guy who cares when you're sick, moody or stressed - he's instantly there, no matter how busy or stressed he may be, he's there to make you laugh, to cheer you up, to give you a hug because he cares about you.
...is the guy who won't let anyone talk shit about you, not even his family. If he cares about you, he has your back and he'll protect and defend you to anyone who even remotely threatens to harm you.
...is the guy who is happy to pay. He won't spend all his money on himself before he thinks about spending it on you. You're his number 1 priority, that means he'll want to provide for you and make sure YOU have what you want and need first.
...is the guy who reminds you on a regular basis that you're loved, you're beautiful and you're the only one he wants. He's not going to talk about other women (unless it's how they don't measure up to you), he's going to make sure you know you're the most beautiful thing to him.
I know sometimes, us women are hard on ourselves.
We feel a guy like this may not exist, or is boring, or will suffocate you, or you don't deserve him.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
It starts right now by you paying attention to men who DESERVE your attention and spotting the douchebags and cutting them off as quickly as you can.
That's the only way to have the kind of man and the kind of dream relationship you want and deserve.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!