OK, we're all adults here so I'm not about to presume that any of us are actually, really "sitting by the phone" waiting for a guy to call us. This isn't seventh grade anymore.

But realistically speaking, by far one of the most frustrating things in the whole wide world of dating is when a man SAYS he's going to call you...and doesn't.

Now, if he leaves the whole idea of calling you open-ended, that's one thing.

But to be honest, if he's apparently thoughtful enough to set up a particular time to call you and THEN fails to do so, it's even more of a head scratcher.

Having scheduled your time accordingly so you'd be ready when he calls, you really can be left feeling like you were duped into "sitting by the phone".

Well, here's the thing.

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I COULD recommend that you take the "velvet hammer" approach and warn every man you meet sternly that you've been disappointed too many times already and that you've got a "one strike and he's out" policy when it comes to men who promise to call and don't. So he'd better call you like he promises if he ever expects to see you again.

I COULD also recommend that if and when he "flakes" on you to pick up the phone yourself and CALL HIM...probably with a terse inquiry up front as to why he didn't bother to call.

But you can probably already sense that neither of those ideas would work in your favor...at all. You'd come off as defensive and even a little bit desperate, frankly.

Nope. When you meet a man and he says he'll call you, it's best to simply smile and say something to the effect of, "Thanks. I'll look forward to that."

You want to remain friendly and attractive, of course, and it's certainly not a bad idea to let a guy know that you're likely to answer the phone when he calls.

After all, you might be surprised at how many guys actually "fail to deploy" when it's time to pick up the phone because they either draw a blank as to what to say or they fear the "rejection" of having been given a fake number, etc.

So a HINT of approval--without going overboard--can indeed serve you well up front.

But truth be told, guys can indeed "flake out" because they simply aren't really as interested in you as you may have hoped.

Importantly, this might not have much to do with YOU at all.

There is a lot of "gray area" when it comes to dating and attraction, and there are numerous convoluted reasons why a guy wouldn't call you.

For example, what if he actually HAS a girlfriend already and got a stroke of conscience shortly after meeting you and suggesting a phone conversation?

Or for all you know he may have met his soulmate right after meeting you.

I'm sure that sounds farfetched, but Scot and I BOTH had gone on a date with someone we really liked a day or two before meeting each other! ...And both of us canceled our respective second dates with those people.

We had the common decency to actually CALL them and tell them, but not everyone is like that nowadays, unfortunately.

That, of course, brings up the valid point that if a man SAYS he's going to call you and DOESN'T you may have saved yourself the pain of getting into a relationship with a guy who just simply lacks character.

We as women tend to LOVE a man who has a strong cornerstone of character. He does what he says he's going to do, and usually that's an EXCELLENT indication that he'd be a good protector and provider.

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I mean, how safe do we feel around a guy who's unpredictable at his very core?

But enough about the guy. Let's turn our attention to YOU now.

Here's the basic truth at play here. If you meet a man who you like, it's perfectly natural for you to look forward to his call.

In fact, if you DON'T, my educated guess is that YOU probably weren't all that excited about him to begin with.

Let's face it...if you FORGET that he was going to call you, then you really haven't exactly been "sitting by the phone" even in the figurative sense, right?

But assuming you have met a man you're a bit excited about, you'll be LESS concerned about whether that ONE PARTICULAR guy calls you back or not if you see yourself as a woman who has OPTIONS when it comes to who she dates.

If you see yourself as a CHOOSER, you'll invest far less emotion in a guy so early on.

That alone will allow you to relax and "go with the flow". If he calls you as he said he would, that's great. If he doesn't, you're probably better off anyway...just like I said.

And now the magical part...

If you can adopt this mindset as your own you'll actually SOUND more relaxed and more attractive on the phone when he DOES call you, as opposed to being overly tense or nervous.

This will in turn put the guy more at ease while causing him to feel greater attraction for you. The conversation can't help but go more smoothly that way, right?

So when you look at the big picture, EVERYTHING tends to work for the better when we obsess less about whether or not a guy calls us or not. How powerful is that?


What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!