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In fact, this line of thinking is pretty much de facto standard in the "underground" world of pickup artists.
One time I encountered yet another blog post on this subject somewhere. In it, the author suggested that every "ladies' man" who's out there giving advice should be required to post his "number".
That way, the logic went, we'd know who the real "players" were as opposed to the posers.
The thread of comments was long and supportive.
As I somehow have a knack for doing, I posted a comment of my own that pretty much ended the conversation.
Now, just to clear the air here, my first thought was of how impossible it would be to get trustworthy info out of anyone to begin with.
I mean, how could you prove or disprove anything? That, to me, was the most basic problem.
But instead I went down a different (and decidedly more entertaining) road. I asked some simple questions like these.
Do women who we had sex with but wish we hadn't count?
On the other hand, what about women we didn't do "the wild thing" with, but could have?
In my mind those were fair questions.
I mean, sometimes you can see the trouble that having sex with a particular woman is going to bring you coming a mile away...can't you?
Whether you lack wisdom (or condoms) enough to go for it or not should be taken into consideration, one way or the other. I just can't figure out which.
Logic says it can't be both.
Notwithstanding that, it's pretty lame to take advantage of some chick just because she's drunk, right?
And hey...what about oral sex? Is the Clintonian definition in effect here or otherwise? Maybe it counts as, say, half a point?
What about women you're ashamed to admit you were with because frankly, they weren't all that attractive?
Maybe you made sure none of the same friends you're trying to impress with your "number" ever saw you with her. That can't possibly count as a full point, can it?
On the other hand, what if she was a real hottie? Shouldn't that count double, then?
What if she drugged you and "date raped" you?
What if you've lost count? Is that even allowed or are you forced to make a conservative guess anyway? Couldn't the argument be made that even keeping count at all indicates a poverty mentality?
And what if some 50 year-old guy's "number" is only slightly higher than that of a guy who's only 23? Who really "wins"?
I could have come up with several more questions that were equally thought provoking, but I think you can already see how silly this is.
If you really were going to judge how gifted someone is with women by the quantity of his sexual experience, you'd need an algorithm so complex it'd make Google jealous.
The NFL quarterback rating would be easier to figure out.
And even so, in the real world there are guys who are virgins by choice who are absolute masters at attracting women and making them go crazy for them.
These guys could "outpull" 95% of the professional pickup artists out there. That's a fact.
Plus, what about the guys out there who married their high school sweethearts and have had a healthy (and monogamous) relationship with them since?
I'd love to hear a counter-argument to the simple assumption that a guy like that is probably good with women.
What, you have no "game" unless you take years and years to play the field figuring out what you want in a woman before finding her?
And then, if you don't proceed to cheat on her enough to produce a "respectable" number you're an "AFC" or something? That's messed up.
Ironically, I challenge you to try getting a "number" out of any married man who knows what "respect" really means to begin with.
Gentlemen, obviously I'm having way too much fun writing this. Enough, already...here's the bottom line.
There's much, much more to being good with women than "getting the lay" and how many times you've done so.
In fact, how many women you've been with really has nothing to do with it. By now you can figure that out.
I saw another blog several years ago where a well-known PUA was engaging his readers in serious debate over whether a woman he partially penetrated (for lack of a more sporting description) for a split second before she grabbed her clothes and ran out the door counted as a "lay".
She counts as a female human being. And he didn't succeed with her. That's all that matters, period.
If you want to measure success with women, take a look at a man's ability to ignite femininity on demand. Consider how many options he has, and therefore how much control he has over his dating life.
If he's chosen to be in an exclusive relationship, consider how much his wife or girlfriend loves, adores, respects and honors him.
Why not measure a man's success with women by how happy he is with his relationships with them?
Or...how about this for a novel idea?
Decide for yourself what it means to succeed with women, set your own goals and don't let me or anyone else impose their standards of measure on you.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!