No, I'm not about to give you foolproof secrets to winning the daily "Pick 4" lottery.

I trust that doesn't disappoint you--if for no other reason than that's an impossible thing to do anyway.

I AM, however, going to address what I believe to be one of the most bizarre but somehow almost universally-accepted themes repeated by would-be dating advisers the world over.

Typically, it goes something like this:


"Don't let 'rejection' or any other lack of dating success get you down. Remember, dating is just a 'numbers game'. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find someone you click with."


In other words, the prevailing "wisdom" out there really IS that finding someone attractive and welcoming her into your life is pretty much tantamount to winning the lottery.

And sure enough, I'd say that the vast majority of us willingly fall in line with that brainwashing.

We go through our lives throwing that proverbial "bucket of spaghetti" against the wall to see what sticks.

We keep scratching off lottery tickets...err, meeting random women in the hopes that we finally "hit".

When we're online, we send the same cut/paste first e-mail template to 100 women.

And hey...if we hear back from even ONE of them that would have been worth a half-hour's worth of work. Right?

When we're out and about in the "real" world, we've got that one killer opener that we've fine-tuned to perfection...and we repeat it to woman after woman until one of them responds positively.

We've seen the statistic that claims that if a guy asks 100 random women on the street to go out with him, one of them is likely to say yes...and that psyches us up.

But WAIT A SECOND here.

If I canvass the heck out of a bunch of women and actually get someone (aka "anyone") to hang out with me on Friday night, have I really "succeeded"?

Well, on one level I suppose you could say so...especially if you're of the opinion that "somebody is better than nobody".

But here's the problem with that.

Just like placing one's trust in winning the lottery to get ahead in life, depending on the "numbers game" strategy when it comes to women is a tell-tale sign of a POVERTY MENTALITY.

Think about it. This holds true not only for getting dates, but for job hunting and building a social circle as well.

When you're willing to SETTLE for "whatever comes along", that's very likely what you're going to get...and nothing more.

And with that in mind, you'll default to LAZINESS.

You'll find that cut/paste e-mail template (either literally OR figuratively) and blast it out until something happens.

Meanwhile, there's a smaller cadre of guys out there who REFUSE to settle for what comes their way by "random chance".

Instead of cutting and pasting online, for example, they SELECT their ten favorite prospects from the hundreds who come up in their search.

They write custom e-mails to each, and actually EXPECT a response--because they recognize that they have risen above the "faceless herd" simply by bowing out of the "numbers game" rat race.

And oddly, they tend to GET responses.

When meeting women in the real world, they operate in a similar manner. And since the women they meet instinctively recognize that they're talking to a CHOOSER rather than a "card scratcher", they sit up and take notice.

And not coincidentally, men who are in this smaller subset I speak of tend to lead dramatically more FULFILLED lives then the "random" guy does.

It really comes down to this.

If you see yourself as having "the same chance as any other guy out there", you're probably already playing the "Numbers Game"...whether you consciously realize it or not.

And that can only lead to SETTLING for whomever comes along.

When you SETTLE, you--by definition--do not get what you really wanted.

But if you are a "big four" man (masculine, confident, inspires safety and security in women, strong character) there's NO WAY you're going to ever settle for "playing the numbers" or "throwing spaghetti".

You'll CHOOSE with clear intent rather than passively leaving whatever happens in your romantic life up to random chance.

And what's more, your definition of "success" will transform before your very eyes from "getting some" to "getting exactly what you desire the most".

So run the "numbers"...out the door. Deserve what you want.