Every day I talk to men and women who are facing a challenge or two that's similar to what nearly all of us deal with at one time or another in the dating world. That's to be expected, and is part of the human experience.

But man...from time to time I encounter stories and/or situations that are definitely non-standard.

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ID:	14159Particularly interesting are the brouhahas men and women get themselves into that involve clear passage into the realm of cognitive dissonance, which is essentially the concept of continuing to believe that something is the case when the evidence is overwhelming that such is indeed NOT the case.

And it's that great desire to have someone we are practically obsessed with "love and accept us for who we are" which leads us into this particular brand of turmoil. Every time.

Unfortunately, when we want so badly to believe that someone who is indifferent (or even flatly uninterested) is someday, somehow going to accept us and become romantically attracted to us we open the door to being manipulated, trifled with or flat-out used.

Here are some specific scenarios that I have seen in real life.

If you can personally relate to any of what follows it's time to WAKE UP and realize that someone you have the "hots" for is being at best opportunistic with you, or worse, is going to milk her relationship with you for all you are worth.

1) Financial Appeals

One time a few years ago I picked up a woman at her home to take her out. She informed me that she would need a few more minutes because she was IMing with a guy two thousand miles away.

She said it was important because although she had no interest in ever really meeting this man he "sent her money all the time".

So she was essentially leveraging her "feminine wiles" for purely ulterior financial motives (which I referred to immediately as "Typing For Dollar$").

Inexplicably, the lonely guy on the other end of the conversation willingly let this go on and actually sent her checks.

In case the inherent subtlety of the whole scenario slipped by unnoticed, let me reiterate: She was typing to this guy while I was standing there, and readily admitted to what was going on.

Predictably, this same woman woke up a few days later to an empty driveway, her SUV having been repossessed.

I'll never forget the phone call where she demurely purred a request that I "lend her $17,000". I may never forget that phone call, but I forgot her. Fast.

Actually, I should have seen that coming and dropped her like the bad habit she potentially was days earlier when I found out what her IM strategies were like. Shame on me.

2) Requests For Favors

Unfortunately, situations like unto what I'm about to describe are not rare.

Back in my mid-twenties I lived with several roommates, all of whom attracted women easily and often.

One day I came home and was mildly surprised to find that a pleasantly attractive young woman with a particularly sweet personality was nearly finished with the monumental task of deep-

cleaning our typically filthy house from top to bottom.

Speechless, I asked what prompted her to do such a thing. "Oh", she said, "Your roommate hired me to be your maid."

It turns out he "forgot" to pay her the paltry five bucks (!?) in payment that they had agreed upon up front.

Yet, she was back again the next week for more of the same, only this time he got her to do it naked. My roommate never so much as asked her out. Ever. Now see, I bet you thought I was going to cite a woman manipulating a guy, didn't you? Wrong. None of this stuff is gender-specific.

3) Invitations To Spend Time And Resources

What if someone invites you to go somewhere or do something that's particularly expensive and/or far away? What if the same person who invited you casually expects you to foot the bill and/or do the driving?

I believe the answers to these deep questions are rhetorical. Yet, it's amazing how many narcissistic single people have an iPhone full
of willing minions.

Use the Comments box below and "Have Your Say" (even if you disagree with me). I really appreciate it when people reply with thoughtful comments. Honestly, it makes my day. Either way I will be glad to hear from you. Also forward this article to a friend. I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.