A while back I had the pleasure of hanging out with some of my good friends and making several new ones at a "mastermind" meeting for those of us in the dating/relationship advice field.

For better or worse, this particular meeting took place in Vega$, which naturally involved flying on Southwest Airlines to get there since I live in San Antonio.

I'm not the biggest fan of flying SWA. The airline itself is fine, it's just that they have "first come, first served" seating and I have a weird penchant for being the last guy to get on the plane.

This most recent flight was no exception. And it was a full flight.


As it turns out the very last open seat was a middle one, of course, next to a rather attractive young blond woman. (I know....what are the chances, right?)

I sat down and opened my Kindle, minding my own business. But the one drawback to those things is that you have to turn them off from when the plane leaves the gate until when you reach 10K feet.

Sure enough, having tucked the Kindle in the seat back pocket in front of me, Blondie shifts her hips a bit in her seat and starts making conversation.

I don't remember what she said to get my attention, but it was innocuous enough.

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ID:	12739Being a social person, I was happy to talk to her. She wasn't exactly my type and I'm happily married anyway, of course.

But there was no denying that most guys would find her attractive. She had very pretty green eyes and perfect teeth.

Within seconds we were talking about Las Vegas.

And within minutes she had brought up the pros and cons of "drunk sex", whether or not her natural boobies were better than fake ones and...wait for it...how much of a jerk her boyfriend is.

As much as some of you guys out there might not want to believe this, I solemnly promise that I did nothing in particular to influence what was being talked about.


Also, importantly, whatever she brought up didn't unsettle me. I simply conversed with her matter-of-factly.

Far too many guys greatly underestimate the power of remaining unfazed when a woman brings up sex, let alone when she talks to them at all.


Meanwhile, the guy sitting on the other side of me on the aisle was clearly getting more and more worked up. It was obvious that he had overheard everything.

As such, when Blondie finally reached for her purse and announced that she wanted get a rum and coke, the guy out of nowhere blurted out, "No...I got it!" and hit the call button.

You've got to be kidding me. In my mind I rolled my eyes This guy wasn't even in the conversation, and yet he was pulling the "Mr. Nice Guy" routine.

Sure enough, he bought her the drink. She smiled and said, "thank you" to him.

Then she continued to talk to me. The conversation turned to world travel, which is typically one of my favorite topics.

However, the next thing I knew Blondie was giving me the details of an emergency root canal she got in Spain. Then it was on to chatting about terminal cancer.

Suddenly I realized that the flight couldn't be over soon enough.

I did what I could do to make the pain stop in as diplomatic a way as possible.

"You know, I have to say...I admire your courage in talking to a complete stranger about root canals and cancer on a scheduled flight. Most people probably wouldn't do that, know what I mean?"

Let's just say that she didn't get the hint. Instead she ordered a few more drinks and was starting to get drunk and disorderly.

Somehow I felt for her "jerk" of a boyfriend and what he was up against.

Mercifully, the plane landed at McCarran. I made it a point to get on the phone and stay on it as we deplaned.

We all herded our way to the luggage claim area, and as I grabbed my bag I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the guy who had sat next to me on the plane was now attempting to chat Blondie up.

It clearly wasn't going well, as she stared out into space blankly even as he tried to keep her attention.

So why am I telling you this?

Well, right now there are two different types of guys reading this article.

The first is going, "What? Are you kidding me? How could you possibly have wanted that flight to be over if you were sitting next to a hot blonde girl? Of course that other guy was talking to her at the baggage claim because YOU didn't!"

The second is going, "No kidding, dude. Sitting next to her must have been about as exciting as watching paint dry."

Which guy are you?

Answer carefully because that's the "Desperation Test" I alluded to in the subject line.

Like it or not, guys with options can readily excuse themselves from even the hottest, sexiest women when they're not exactly all that interesting otherwise. That's because there will soon be others right behind them who will prove to be a better choice.

Meanwhile, guys with fewer options pretty much feel as if they've hit the jackpot ANY time a reasonably pretty girl talks to them--and all the more if she brings up sex.

I ask you again. Which guy are you?

The irony of the whole thing is that the more you believe you have options, the more options you actually tend to have.

Meanwhile, the more desperate you are, the more women tend to sense that and say, "thanks...but no thanks."

Can you believe that your mindset matters THAT much? And more importantly, can you believe that you have TOTAL control over that mindset?


What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!