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Understand The Mystery Of Attraction And You'll Be More Attractive (Here's How)

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  • Understand The Mystery Of Attraction And You'll Be More Attractive (Here's How)

    Recently, I got into a conversation with some friends over dinner about the subject of "attraction".

    After several minutes of discussion, a somewhat amazing revelation hit me. Each respective person at the table had a different working definition for the word.

    One person seemed to believe it was synonymous with "physically good looking".

    Someone else was talking as if it meant all those things that matter other than physical looks, and was using the word in that context.

    Yet another person assumed that attraction refers to whatever it is that makes people like someone.

    I found all of this highly interesting, because I've always taken the word at face value. Perhaps I've been incorrectly assuming that others naturally do also.

    The very word "attraction", of course, actually means this (definition courtesy of dictionary.com):


    Attraction (noun)

    1. the act, power, or property of attracting.

    2. attractive quality; magnetic charm; fascination; allurement; enticement: the subtle attraction of her strange personality.

    3. a person or thing that draws, attracts, allures, or entices: The main attraction was the after-dinner speaker.

    4. a characteristic or quality that provides pleasure; attractive feature: The chief attractions of the evening were the good drinks and witty conversation.

    5. Physics. the electric or magnetic force that acts between oppositely charged bodies, tending to draw them together.



    That first definition is, of course, the perfunctory one. The noun is the act of performing the verb form, naturally. That's about as much help as a rubber crowbar.

    But skip directly to the last one. That's where the crux of it all is, if you ask me. "Attraction" is a physical, magnetic force between two oppositely charged bodies that "draws them together".

    The second, third and fourth definitions above elaborate on that aspect, when you get right down to it. The "magnetic charm, fascination and allurement" mentioned in the second one in particular hits the nail right on the head.

    The third definition refers more to event-based usage of the word (e.g. "main attraction"), but the idea is substantially the same. It's all about drawing people to what's going on.

    The fourth definition is fascinating, as it adds the dimension of anticipated pleasure.

    What "attracts" us does so because we foresee pleasure resulting from moving toward it.

    Click image for larger version

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ID:	14291If follows logically, then, that whatever causes us pain would then be repulsive (i.e. it pushes us away), just as what's pleasurable is attractive.

    So then, in the case of sexual attraction between men and women, it's the opposite charges of masculinity and femininity that are at work to draw two people together.

    Based on the full definition of the word, sexual attraction would indicate that there's a fascination and allurement associated with the perceived potential for pleasure.

    At this point you can easily recognize that this is indeed exactly how sexuality works, right?

    There's a physical, almost electric "charge" to femininity that when activated effectively draws you to it. You are charmed, fascinated and allured.

    This irresistible force signals the potential for pleasure in your mind's eye.

    You don't simply like it, you're literally drawn in its general direction. You want to partake of it and you've got to have it.

    And yes, you can bet your bottom dollar that the actual mechanics and process of attraction are the same for women.

    Consider two magnets. If polar opposites, they will attract each other. But on the surface, they're both still magnets.

    So likewise, in the realm of human sexuality, you and a woman are both human, it's just that one is male and the other female. But the laws of physics relative to attraction are what they are, regardless of which "pole" your gender represents.

    Great...now we know what attraction IS, but what does that mean for us? What's the real-world takeaway from all of this?

    Well first, understand that if a woman is considered "attractive", that's not a euphemism for all the "inner beauty" she possesses beyond her physical appearance.

    But on the other hand, when you're attracted to a woman it's not necessarily because of her outward beauty alone, either.

    That may be one particularly strong element of what contributes to the force drawing you to her sexually, but it's probably not the only thing.

    Ultimately, you are attracted to a woman--by definition--when her overall sexual vibe causes you to anticipate pleasure, and are therefore drawn to her magnetically.

    That's all well and good. But the second major takeaway here is even more important.

    Once you know the very definition of "attraction", you can readily see that it lights the path to presenting yourself as attractive to women.

    If you want women to like you, go out with you and eventually have a sexual relationship with you, you've got to draw them to you.

    You can't repel women and expect to be successful with them.

    Sure, I think you already know that you've got to take a shower, brush your teeth and do the best with what you've got.

    What I'm talking about here may sound so obvious to you on the surface that you're about to dismiss it. But wait...I want you to honestly consider another it all from a different angle.

    Is it possible that you've been thinking in certain ways or doing certain things that actually push women away...perhaps without even realizing it?

    Is your mindset such that you expect women to lie, cheat or even steal from you?

    Are you assuming that women are out to hurt you?

    If so, that negative energy is the exact opposite of how "attraction" is designed to operate according to the laws of physics.

    When interacting with women, do you show bitterness and disdain? Do you tease them to the point of insulting them--even in jest--somehow believing that you've got to go "over the top" to keep from appearing needy?

    That's the next closest thing to literally, physically pushing a woman away from you rather than attracting her.

    Are you more concerned about "getting some" than acting in a woman's best interest? Do you grasp how that circumvents your ability to make a woman feel safe and comfortable in your presence?

    The stunning realization has occurred to me that much of what men are being taught about how to get women is built around repelling them rather than attracting them.

    Seriously, who on Earth--male or female--will be drawn to tricks, manipulation, "building compliance", being "escalated" or any other underhanded, self-serving tactics?

    Does ignoring women so as to avoid potential "rejection" do anything whatsoever to draw a woman to you? Of course not. It simply reminds her to stay away.

    Remember always, in order to be attractive you've got to be a masculine man who draws women to you. You do that by welcoming them and making them feel comfortable in your presence, even as you exude maleness.

    That means that the secret to attraction is all about how you make a woman feel. If she's magnetically drawn to you as a man, she may not even know why. She doesn't have to "know"...she responds to how she "feels" instead.

    Just as you may be sexually attracted to a woman who doesn't fit the parameters of classic outward beauty, isn't in your social group or is otherwise different than you'd expect her to be; so attraction works for women.

    How are you making women feel? Focus on being a man who draws women to you rather than pushing them away--or worse, depending on "props" to create attraction for you.

    Your car, your fancy watch, your diploma or even your LED belt buckle aren't going to draw women to you.

    Raw attraction will, however...by definition.


    Use the Comments box below and "Have Your Say" (even if you disagree with me). I really appreciate it when people reply with thoughtful comments. Honestly, it makes my day. Either way I will be glad to hear from you. Also forward this article to a friend. I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.
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